131 Learn to count your blessings
Hey there.
Sometimes suppressing for too long and bottling up too many things inside yourself, the feeling is terribly horrible. When was the last time I went to look for myself ? It's about a month ago.
After straightening out my thoughts and reflecting on myself then, I managed to accept her and reduce my awful words on her, and disdain attitude towards her. However, recently there is another on-going project. I tried not to complain to my classmate, I am just trying my best to accept her for who she is. Have I controlled myself to minimize those negative words, I am unsure. To a certain extent, I feel that I did. I did comment a little since the latter happening was beyond words. It is far more than acceptable. Then again, at least I tried. I suppressed myself. She isn't that bad after all. All you have to do is to try to accept others.
It doesn't apply to all situation though. There are some people whom you simply just can't tolerate. For instance, I've one. Unfortunately to say that, but I am receiving the intolerable and awful feeling from you. Between both of you, the main lead of the situation is just me. The problem lies with me, not you, not you. Though maybe one of it is you. I can't help it. Spare me, let us have a distance, could we ?
Maybe there is one which I've never told anyone, except my heart, my mind. It's better not to kick a big fuss over trivial matters. I mean, the problem lies with me, not you. Prior to me ignoring you totally, I would better keep my mouth zipped up. At the same time, giving you silent answers before another war begins. There are too many wars that can arise in my life. Different people yet with the same rising factor; me.
I haven't been feeling comfortable in one of my project group. Not that my group members are uncooperative. However, there are three of them who are a lot more close to each other just like a clique you see. My group members are all friendly members who are really kind, funny and hardworking. The awkwardness you have when you are in a clique you don't really click with them is uncomfortable. You can't hide for that. For once, I'm not attending the project meetings. I'm trying my best to do them all at home and send them to my group members. I may feel a lil' guilty at first. Now, I don't. At least, I feel much more comfortable with myself. I apologised, my IFMM group members.
Doesn't human changes after time after time ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I will step on the wrong path and begin from there ?
Do you know I'm afraid that while others are working positively and I'm working negatively ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I will be the last in my class in terms of academic ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I will change for the bad instead of the better ?
Do you know I'm afraid that there's once and there will be twice ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I will get hooked up by the temptations of skipping one lecture, one tutorial and the counts increase ?
Do you know I'm afraid that all those words I shoot out from my mouth are just more criticisms, awful words and negative words instead of positive ones ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I complain too much to my friends ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I am judging my classmates too much ?
While you worry about the biggest major events, I could be worrying the more smallest thing on Earth. Those that doesn't even bother you or come across your mind.
Although much when my secondary schoolmates asked me how's school or how's my class, my reply will usually be, "Oh, my classmates are a group of friendly funny and superb united class ! We are very bonded even during breaks. We wait for each other in the morning and head to class as one. We participate in events together. We had a few class outings and we are even having chalet !" There are also few that will ask me if I've friends in polytechnic whom I'm able to communicate with. The reply I gave will always be, "Oh, they are friendly. Sociable. We are very united, bonded."
Doesn't the reply sounds great and awesome ? It sounds as though my life is filled with happiness and joy whereby I am enjoying myself much. Not. Perchance that reply was to convince many that I am doing well. I am having fun, having a great time with my classmates. Oh well..
To my fellow chairperson. Not everyone likes the way you handle things. Not everyone likes to go by your wish. You may like it, but others may not. What point do you have to say that you can assume because majority wants it, the minority will be in favour of it as well ? You do things in your way, but everyone have their own ways as well. I bet you won't like it if someone else forces you right ? We are human, we have human rights !
I think, I've been complaining too much. There are too much mixed feelings altogether that can't be expressed out in words easily.
It's getting 1:47AM, I ought to go to bed now.
What a long entry after such a long time ! -scrolls up- Wow. :O
Sometimes suppressing for too long and bottling up too many things inside yourself, the feeling is terribly horrible. When was the last time I went to look for myself ? It's about a month ago.
After straightening out my thoughts and reflecting on myself then, I managed to accept her and reduce my awful words on her, and disdain attitude towards her. However, recently there is another on-going project. I tried not to complain to my classmate, I am just trying my best to accept her for who she is. Have I controlled myself to minimize those negative words, I am unsure. To a certain extent, I feel that I did. I did comment a little since the latter happening was beyond words. It is far more than acceptable. Then again, at least I tried. I suppressed myself. She isn't that bad after all. All you have to do is to try to accept others.
It doesn't apply to all situation though. There are some people whom you simply just can't tolerate. For instance, I've one. Unfortunately to say that, but I am receiving the intolerable and awful feeling from you. Between both of you, the main lead of the situation is just me. The problem lies with me, not you, not you. Though maybe one of it is you. I can't help it. Spare me, let us have a distance, could we ?
Maybe there is one which I've never told anyone, except my heart, my mind. It's better not to kick a big fuss over trivial matters. I mean, the problem lies with me, not you. Prior to me ignoring you totally, I would better keep my mouth zipped up. At the same time, giving you silent answers before another war begins. There are too many wars that can arise in my life. Different people yet with the same rising factor; me.
I haven't been feeling comfortable in one of my project group. Not that my group members are uncooperative. However, there are three of them who are a lot more close to each other just like a clique you see. My group members are all friendly members who are really kind, funny and hardworking. The awkwardness you have when you are in a clique you don't really click with them is uncomfortable. You can't hide for that. For once, I'm not attending the project meetings. I'm trying my best to do them all at home and send them to my group members. I may feel a lil' guilty at first. Now, I don't. At least, I feel much more comfortable with myself. I apologised, my IFMM group members.
Doesn't human changes after time after time ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I will step on the wrong path and begin from there ?
Do you know I'm afraid that while others are working positively and I'm working negatively ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I will be the last in my class in terms of academic ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I will change for the bad instead of the better ?
Do you know I'm afraid that there's once and there will be twice ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I will get hooked up by the temptations of skipping one lecture, one tutorial and the counts increase ?
Do you know I'm afraid that all those words I shoot out from my mouth are just more criticisms, awful words and negative words instead of positive ones ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I complain too much to my friends ?
Do you know I'm afraid that I am judging my classmates too much ?
While you worry about the biggest major events, I could be worrying the more smallest thing on Earth. Those that doesn't even bother you or come across your mind.
Although much when my secondary schoolmates asked me how's school or how's my class, my reply will usually be, "Oh, my classmates are a group of friendly funny and superb united class ! We are very bonded even during breaks. We wait for each other in the morning and head to class as one. We participate in events together. We had a few class outings and we are even having chalet !" There are also few that will ask me if I've friends in polytechnic whom I'm able to communicate with. The reply I gave will always be, "Oh, they are friendly. Sociable. We are very united, bonded."
Doesn't the reply sounds great and awesome ? It sounds as though my life is filled with happiness and joy whereby I am enjoying myself much. Not. Perchance that reply was to convince many that I am doing well. I am having fun, having a great time with my classmates. Oh well..
To my fellow chairperson. Not everyone likes the way you handle things. Not everyone likes to go by your wish. You may like it, but others may not. What point do you have to say that you can assume because majority wants it, the minority will be in favour of it as well ? You do things in your way, but everyone have their own ways as well. I bet you won't like it if someone else forces you right ? We are human, we have human rights !
I think, I've been complaining too much. There are too much mixed feelings altogether that can't be expressed out in words easily.
It's getting 1:47AM, I ought to go to bed now.
What a long entry after such a long time ! -scrolls up- Wow. :O
posted by discoverme at
1:23 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home