Eleven ; Immense flame

It has been quite some time since I last updated my solitary blog.

I guess this will be a pretty long entry. I shall type whatever comes to my mind.

Let me recall what happened over this week...

On Monday, I had PE lessons which I ran 2.4km outside school @ the Admiral garden. It was awful. I sure did not run my best. I came in as one of the last 20, I think. Furthermore, I began walking since the first round. I won't deny the fact that I walked close to 2 rounds. :o

Gosh, I am going to be dead. Monday is the day after tomorrow. I wouldn't wish to re-run. ):

Tuesday's night was horrendous for me. I rushed my last practice for Elementary Mathematics. In addition, I tried to figure out the topic on probability with the help of Shuyi. Unfortunately, the inflexible mind of mine simply does not get anything out from the topic. I was with an unquiet mind then.

I was discouraged. I couldn't solve any of the problems on my own. It left me in a panic state. At that point in time, I was thinking, "Should I just give up and sit for the paper the next day. With the possibility that I may leave many questions blank or even just writing my name on the paper and hand in the paper when the time is up."

D:

At the same time, I was reminded that I said I want to pass my test with a minimum grade of __. I did not want to be the bottom few in the class. I want to make a difference. I want to perform better. That was what it makes me to continue and trust myself.

The next day approached and still, I rushed my very last minute revision on the eleventh hour during A.maths lessons. Yes, I am guilty for doing that. Thinking of it now, I think it was just a waste of my time then.

Friends told me the paper was easy, that's all. I sat for the paper and everything changed. Shuyi's efforts had gone to a naught. I'm sorry for that. I could not solve the probability questions with me writing craps on the paper. I really mean it, CRAPS. I left questions blank.

Right after the test paper was collected, I've the urge to tell Mr.Chee, "Mr.Chee, could you please not mark my paper?" Definitely, I did not tell him. My mood was dampened. Seeing the smiles and satisfaction from my classmates' faces, press myself down, totally.

Later in the late noon after dismissal, I was calculating the scores I've lost. Initially, I calculated I would score a maximum of 15 out of 40. Right now, it is approximately 12. What am I doing ??? I screwed the paper inside out, really. Whatever I wanted it to be, vanished. My hopes were gone.

You wouldn't know how dejected I was then. Perchance Shuyi knows. Tears rolled in my eyes and I was really crestfallen. For fear that the tears trickled down my cheeks with so many people around in the school hall... Did I look that sad that late noon ? :/

THANKS SHUYI FOR YOUR ENCOURAGEMENTS ! :D

Since she can do it, why can't I ?

She's doing wonders. ;) Making me smile upon reading her messages that resulted my friend to be thinking who sent me the smses. Lol.

Moving on to Friday.

I enjoyed myself thoroughly ! :D

Donkey years since I last enjoyed myself so much from playing badminton. I love it especially being able to sweat all out and get exhausted. It was really nice and great. :D Whoooohooo. I wish there will be more times similar to Friday. May I ?

"I'm serious." Okay okay. I understand.

Nice chat, thanks. :)

Oh, not to forget, I managed to complete my Additional Mathematics hmwrk on my own in school with the help of my friends ! Wheeee, yay ! I did it on my own. Cheers for myself. Hahaha. xD It was sure a great sensation. Guidance of friends and able to complete it on my own make the subject interesting. :)

Despite being a Saturday, one of the days of weekends, I returned back to school for extra Physics theory lessons and practical. I want to announce :

I managed to survive the 3 hours Physics ! Relieved. Phew~

I really dread Physics lessons, afraid of Mr.Yap calling my name to answer question. :S In fact, I dread both Science lessons, Geography and perhaps Mathematics lessons. D: Being in the classroom attending to the lessons, it was as though I'm gonna have a heart attack anytime. :o

Currently, I wish there isn't any E.Maths lessons. I wouldn't want to receive back my papers. I wish during those periods of lessons, there is a hole for me to hide.

With that, I end off my entry.

It's getting late.